And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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