so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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