What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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