my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
