I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
