what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
only if we run a train.
done.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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