My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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