Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
