this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
