Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Terrible idea I love it
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
