This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize