I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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