Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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