she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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