i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
