Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
