We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
