You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
