Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
