??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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