no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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