i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Don't tell me you're on acid again
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
