All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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