you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
