My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
