no one should ever give us hovercrafts
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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