i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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