So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize