I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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