Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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