office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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