its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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