He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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