i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
