youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
