New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My feet surprised me
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
