No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
