So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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