The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
