Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize