In America we eat man semen.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize