Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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