Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
