Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
