Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize