We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
