nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
