awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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