I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize