fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Your tits are I can't wait for
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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