but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize