I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
