i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
