hell yes lets make some ravioli
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize