just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
