He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
