Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
