We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
