I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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