You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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